Inside the Front Office: A Dramatic Re-Enactment
The scene is a smoke-filled office, with the shades drawn. Brian Sabean, with his feet propped up on his desk, reaches over and puts out his cigar. He grabs the phone and hails his secretary.
Sabean: Laura, get Dayton Moore on the phone. And patch Zito in too; I want him to hear this.
Dayton Moore: …hello?
Sabean: D-man. How’s it hanging?
Moore: Brian…it’s 4 in the morning.
Zito: What…why…who is this?
Sabean: Listen, we need a hitter, and we need one now.
Moore: Can’t this wa–
Sabean: This needs to happen now and we need Miguel Cabrera.
Moore: (groggily) He plays for the Tigers, Brian. Please, just let me go back to sleep.
Zito: What’s happening? Seriously who is this…
Sabean: You have a Cabrera somewhere don’t you? We’ll take him.
Moore: You mean Melky? Sure I guess…just send us–
Sabean: Jonathan Sanchez. Final offer.
Moore: That sou–
Sabean: Man you drive a hard bargain. We’ll throw in a Minor Leaguer too and call it a done deal. Barry, as much as I hate to say it, you’re back in the rotation.
Zito: That’s…great I gu–
Sabean: What’s it gonna be D-man?
Moore: If I say yes can I go back to bed?
Zito: I don’t see why I needed to be a part of this.
Sabean: Zeets we don’t like it one bit, but get ready to be a starter again. Just lay off on the God-awful mustache this time.
Moore: I’m hanging up now.
Zito: How did you even get this number?
Sabean:…you doing anything later?
Zito: Goodbye Brian.